


Lead Me

by leigh_adams



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Order of the Phoenix - Freeform, Romance, Second War with Voldemort, Wizarding Wars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-07
Updated: 2010-09-07
Packaged: 2018-10-27 13:36:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10810080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leigh_adams/pseuds/leigh_adams
Summary: After a period of running, Remus finally comes back to Tonks.





	Lead Me

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Annie, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Quidditch Pitch](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Quidditch_Pitch), which went offline in 2015 when the hosting expired, at a time I was not able to renew it. I contacted Open Doors, hoping to preserve the archive using an old backup, and began importing these works as an Open Doors-approved project in April 2017. Open Doors e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Quidditch Pitch collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thequidditchpitch/profile).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** This was written for the [Summer Hallows Jumble](http://community.livejournal.com/metamorfic_moon/193970.html) at [MetamorFic Moon](http://metamorfic_moon.livejournal.com). I only incorporated my Deathly Hallows prompt, which was "mother." This fic is dedicated to [Elle Blessing](http://elle_blessing.livejournal.com), who shared with me the wonderful song that this fic is based on- [Lead Me](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAKBXBXz1fo) by Sanctus Real. I hope y’all enjoy!

Nymphadora Tonks was a seasoned Auror. Trained by Mad Eye Moody, she had taken down more than her fair share of Dark wizards. She had seen colleagues tortured, subject to the Cruciatus Curse, and she hadn’t even flinched. It took stronger stuff than that to make Tonks break down.

But right then, at that moment? 

She could _not_ stop crying. 

It could possibly be blamed on hormones; after all, _Waiting For Baby: A Witch’s Guide to Pregnancy_ indicated that it was normal to feel overly emotional during the first and second trimester. At the beginning, she had felt as if she was walking on air. Despite the turmoil surrounding them, threatening to destroy their tiny family, Tonks was _happy_. She was having a baby, _Remus’s_ baby. 

But Remus was gone. 

She was going to be a mother, and the father of her child- her husband- was nowhere to be found. 

 

_**Lead me with strong hands**_

 

Her hand drifted down to the gentle swell of her stomach, eyes filling with tears once more. It hadn’t been planned- but then again, what part of their relationship _had_ been? They had turned to one another in grief, looking only for something to hold onto while the world crashed down around them, and found something deeper than either of them had expected.

Tonks had never felt anything like what she felt for Remus before. She was a Black; it was not in her nature to be girly or romantic. She had never had any illusions about a knight in shining armor, riding in on his white steed to sweep her off of her feet and carry her into the sunset. 

No, what she’d gotten was a self-loathing werewolf more than ten years her senior. She couldn’t remember the fairy tales mentioning the part about beating the fair prince about the head to make him realize his feelings for the fair damsel. 

 

_**Stand up when I can’t**_

 

Remus was a broody bastard, but Tonks loved him more than anything or anyone. But now she had someone to love just as much as her husband; their _son_. 

A tear slipped down her cheek as she looked down at her slightly protruding stomach. Remus hadn’t been there when she’d learned they were having a boy. She didn’t know _where_ he was, and that scared her more than anything. This was supposed to be one of the happiest periods of her life, and it had been... until he’d walked out on her. 

And now? Now she was scared to death. 

What if Remus had been captured? Tortured? What if the other werewolves had gotten to him? What if, Merlin forbid, he was... _dead_? 

 

_**Don’t leave me hungry for love**_

 

Despite her inner turmoil, a small smile twitched at her lips when she felt a hard little something- a foot, maybe, or a fist- prod against her palm. As much as she needed Remus, this little life they had created needed her even more. 

 "I’m sorry, love," she murmured to her stomach, caressing the little bump idly. "You know Mummy loves you more than anything, hmm? And I’m going to be here for you no matter what. Nothing will take me away from you, I promise." And she meant it. Even though their baby had yet to arrive, Tonks felt an indescribable instinct, one that said _protect_. This life... her son was _her_ responsibility. 

It was strange to her, donning the cloak of motherhood. When she’d asked her own mother whether or not she’d been this terrified, Andromeda had merely smiled and kissed her on the forehead. 

"I still am," her mother had confided. 

 

_**Chasing dreams, but what about us?**_

 

From his vantage point in the darkened doorway, Remus watched his wife gazing out the window, hand on her belly as she murmured to their unborn child. A sense of shame swept over him, familiar as the disgust he felt for his actions. What kind of person, what kind of _man_ , walked out on his wife and child? It had taken the angry wisdom of a seventeen year-old and a good helping of Firewhiskey to show him the error of his ways. 

Now, more than ever, he wanted this; to be a father to their child, to be a husband to Dora. She was even more beautiful now than she had been last he’d seen her. Her stomach had expanded ever so slightly, and the gentle swell of her belly lent itself nicely to the glowing aura of impending motherhood. 

Stepping out of the shadows, he said quietly, "Dora?"

Her face swung towards him, and his heart panged at the sight of tears in her bright eyes. All he did was make her cry; it seemed like all he was good for some days.

 

_**Show me you’re willing to fight**_

 

" _Remus_?" Her whisper was strangled as she took a few, tentative steps closer. 

He was unable to stay away from her, quickly covering the remaining space between them. 

"Dora, I-" 

He was cut off when the palm of her hand connected sharply with his cheek, forcing his head to snap to the side with the speed and strength of the blow. As he touched the stinging flesh gingerly, his blue gaze swung down to her, eyes wide in surprise. "Dora-" 

"You _left_ me!" she hissed angrily, bringing up her hand to strike him again. This time he was ready, and he caught her wrist easily before she could make contact. She struggled wildly in his arms and tried to hit him with her left hand, but he grabbed at her other hand as well.

"Let me go!" 

"Dora, I’m _sorry_ ," he implored, holding her wrists gently in his hands as she twisted, trying to wiggle free. "I was a stupid bastard, and I never should have left, but I was frightened." 

Dora’s eyes were wild with a myriad of emotions; anger, hurt, and love all comingled in those dark orbs. "And I'm not? You think I'm _not_ frightened?" 

 

_**That I’m still the love of your life**_

 

"I _know_!” Remus said, releasing her wrists suddenly. He staggered away from her and ran a hand over his face tiredly. "Merlin, Dora, if I could go back, do it all over again, I-" 

"Wouldn’t have married me?" she snapped in query. 

He shot her a look. "I was going to say that I never would have left," he replied quietly. "I love you, Dora, and nothing’s going to change that." 

She was silent for a long, long moment, gazing out the window, and for a moment, Remus was filled with the sudden fear that maybe _she_ had changed her mind. What if she didn’t want him in her life anymore? The idea of not being with Dora, of being kept from his child, was a fate worse than death. 

Remus moved to stand behind her and tentatively placed his hands on her shoulders. She didn’t shy away or brush him off; a good sign. 

"I want to be there for you," he said, "for you and for our baby."

"Our son," she whispered. 

 

_**I know we call this our home**_

 

Remus felt his heart flutter and he wasn’t sure he’d heard her correctly. "What did you say?" he whispered, his voice faltering towards the end. 

Dora turned in his arms to face him, and one small hand reached up to cup his cheek. All the anger had faded from her demeanor, replaced with a softer, quieter batch of emotions. "It’s a boy, Remus," she said softly, looking up at him through her lashes. "The Healer... I found out last week. We’re having a son." 

Without thinking, Remus swept her up into his arms, gathering her up against his chest in happiness. He wanted to shout, to spin her around, to jump for joy and scream to the heavens; he was going to have a _son_. He still had his fears- after all, what if his boy was like _him_?- but at that moment, he couldn’t remember the rest of them.

"Merlin, Dora, can you ever forgive me?" he whispered, pressing a kiss into her short, pink hair. 

"Just don’t leave me," she replied, tilting her head back up to look him straight in the eyes. "I... I can’t do this alone, Remus. I can’t do this without you. I’m scared to death, and I _need_ you. And so does our son." 

Slowly, softly, Remus lowered his face to hers and captured her lips in a soft, slow kiss. He felt her arms encircle him, felt the simple protrusion of her belly press against him as she moved closer, and he could have kicked himself again. Why had he been running from this? Dora was everything, _more_ than, he’d ever hoped for. 

He would never make that mistake again. He would show her that he was a man worthy of her love, that he was a father worthy of his son. 

"I promise," he murmured against her lips. "I’ll never leave you again." 

 

_**But I still feel alone** _

 


End file.
